Status Quo

Why am I even thinking about this? Everything is going to be all right when I get back home, isn't it? The science here, the career, it is all... a dream which will never turn out to be satisfying. Like every normal human being I want more. I want as much as I can get. This is understandable. But why dig myself a hole and fall into it knowingly. As it is this obvious. Ah, temptation. That's what it is. The constant whispering of science. Being eager to take part in an environment where thoughts are respected, shared, discussed, extended, published.
I am going to a country where no one even knows what science is, or how research is done. I am going to a country so beautiful that no one needs to work really hard. And I am going to try to break them apart. Take whatever they have in their hands they trust and feel safe with. I am going to remove the shade from their eyes and let them see what they have to do in order to earn the respect of the whole world.
I used to feel very enthusiastic about this. Before trying it out, of course. Trying to walk across a lake of tar. I need help. I need to see that I am not alone. I need to see that my country needs me. I need to see that my efforts won't be in vain. It is weird having all these people around me that I know for sure feel the same way as I do. No one dares to confront the tyranny of status quo.