Keep going...

Sometimes it is just hard to handle. It seems so natural to rise against all the things I have to do before... Before I start living. Before I start breathing again; filling my chest with the fresh breeze of cool moist her. With every stroke I swim, I am getting closer to saving a life; a life together. And I am getting more tired with every stroke I swim. I need to breathe more as I go along. And I have a long way to go.

I know everything is for a reason. I can see a bright future all developing with every little step we take. God is preparing. Every time we trip we see another part of it uncovering. "You cannot stop now. Get up! Keep going!"

What if everything is an illusion? We keep living a dream always missing the moment. Killing ourselves every day for a better life in the future. What if the dream does not come true? What if this is the last day of our lives; this is the last breath we take? How do we explain to God what we did with our lives? How do we explain how we treated the ones we love?

We were driving to the airport, together in a car, in our car, a part of the future coming earlier than we expected. When we were driving into the darkness, it was so warm an assuring, it was so good to dream of the future coming right there right then that we will not have to be parted again. So good that I wished it all ended right there right then. I thought dying together would be better than living apart.

Now I understand the sorrow of ney. It is in the tune ney is crying for love that we are all apart from. Ney is crying because no matter what we do we have to keep going. And the day shall come that we are all together again.